Last week I talked about affirmations on the blog – if you missed it, check it out HERE. But you know what my hardest affirmation was… I am Beautiful.
All my life I was told I was pretty but….I needed to loose weight, or I needed curlier and longer hair, and the list when on. Basically people would tell me I just wasn’t enough. Eventually I didn’t need people telling me I wasn’t beautiful – I told myself all the time (in my head) that I was ugly, I was fat and I wasn’t good enough for anyone. I had this negative tape that just played over and over in my head.
As a result, this became my identity and I started dressing like a slob in all honesty. What was the point in ‘looking pretty’ if my pretty wasn’t good enough. In high school you would catch me in a pair of sweat pants and a baggy sweatshirt with my hair up most days – no makeup, no care and no smile. I watched all the popular girls get the attention of boys – I didn’t have my first kiss till I was 21!!!
Because of my low self esteem I got into a lot of trouble too – it was like I just didn’t care. I was actually grounded about half of my high school career (I’m not joking…wish I was …). My longest stint was 6 months – no going out, no having friends over, no internet, no phone, nothing. It was then, that I got my first job at 16 and just like most things in my life back then I was extreme. I worked as many hours as I could – I started earning my own money and doing what I wanted with it (in extremes). As I continued into adulthood – I became consumed by work – at 21 (while still in college) I worked 2 full time jobs. I searched for validation in so many places that brought no fulfillment.
When I spent the time looking in the mirror with my affirmations – not only was I re-recording that negative tape in the mirror, I was also looking at myself in my eyes and over those 6 months of saying “I am beautiful” I actually started to see it.
See, the beauty of who you are as a woman, isn’t just in your eyes, or your hair, or that gorgeous face of yours – it’s the very essence that you are as a woman. That means your compassionate heart, your go getter attitude, your strength, your courage – all of that makes up the beautiful woman you are – as you are in this very present moment.
We often think we have to wait to loose x amount of weight or until our hair is longer, or we have the wardrobe we want to feel beautiful …but did you know, that you can learn to love and appreciate the beautiful woman you are RIGHT NOW?!? I’m serious. I had learned to at my heaviest weight – all 320 pounds of me! So it’s not the 60 pounds I’ve lost that got me there
and although I run a gym and think fitness is important, it’s not all about a number on a scale.
Part of fitness is about taking care of your body because you love it, because you want to be strong and live your best life but there is so much that goes into it.
Now I’ll also address not just your gorgeous face – what about those bits you haven’t learned to love yet – for me my tummy has been the hardest to embrace but there are things I did to learn to love it and appreciate it – like standing in front of my mirror naked, or as I get dressed. Looking at myself almost took the fear out of it all. It normalized it and I started seeing beauty in my body.
So here’s my challenge to you….start looking in the mirror and instead of telling yourself all the things you don’t like, or pointing out the things you want to change and start appreciating that body of yours- think about how your body helps you accomplish all you accomplish, how it helps you go to work, or take care of your kids – the list goes on. Making peace with that mirror is so crucial and its like having a burden lifted!
Let me know how it goes – I’d love to hear how this (or any of my other self love tips help you love yourself just a little bit more).